The Doctor's DVDs
by JeffAndTheWorld
Summary: I had a dream a few weeks ago. The basic story was this, and I think I was the Doctor. Anyway, I thought I'd type it up  Sorry it's in script form I find that so much easier. I might convert it to story at some point . Enjoy! :


The Doctor's DVDs.

INT. TARDIS

_The TARDIS is juddering and shaking around, with sparks flying from the console. The Doctor and Amy are thrown to the floor of the TARDIS, as it crash lands. All the lights go out, and the pair are left in darkness._

AMY

Ouch. Argh. What happened?

THE DOCTOR

I capitulated physical ascendancy so we debacled.

_The auxiliary lights come on. The Doctor looks at the console._

AMY

Sorry?

THE DOCTOR

Erm, I lost control so we crashed.

AMY

Brilliant! Can you fix it?

THE DOCTOR

Yes. No. Maybe. Possibly.

AMY

Where are we? _When_ are we?

_The Doctor sonics the TARDIS monitor. It crackles and fizzes and shows the date "04/04/2010." The screen splutters and goes out again._

THE DOCTOR

Right, I'll go out, see where we are. You stay here; see if you can get anything working.

AMY

What? I can't work the bloody TARDIS.

THE DOCTOR

'Course you can. You're Amy Pond. You can do anything.

_Amy looks at the Doctor in disbelief. He smiles and shrugs. He turns and walks towards the door._

THE DOCTOR (con't)

Worth a try, anyway.

_The Doctor leaves. Amy turns to the console and just stares at it. Apprehensively, she reaches for the "hot" tap. She turns it. Nothing happens. She sighs in annoyance._

EXT. STREET

_The Doctor walks down the street, looking in all directions. As he walks, a number of people glance in his direction and gawp. He grins back._

THE DOCTOR

At least these people appreciate my dress-sense.

_One man in particular looks in absolute awe at the Doctor. The Doctor smiles back again. Encouraged, the man runs up to him and grabs the Doctor's hand, shaking it vigorously. The Doctor looks pretty damn uncomfortable._

MAN

It's an honour to meet you Mr Smith! You were magnificent last night! My favourite episode of all time! And you're even wearing the clothes! I heard they were yours. Brilliant! I'm just on my way to buy a bowtie like yours! Bow ties are cool!

THE DOCTOR

Yes, I think you might have the wrong person mate. Sorry. But you're right, bowties _are_ cool.

_The man looks distraught. He walks off looking disheartened. The Doctor looks at him for a second, then runs across the road and into a Tesco._

INT. TARDIS

_Amy sits in one of the chairs, her feet rested on the console. She looks very relaxed, almost asleep. The Doctor barges into the TARDIS, his arms laden down with objects. He has an angry look on his face._

AMY

You okay?

THE DOCTOR

Amy, call the police.

AMY

Why..?

_The Doctor throws her a page of a newspaper. On it is a photo of the Doctor, with the headline "Smith's Debut as Who attracts 8m viewers." The Doctor points at the photo._

THE DOCTOR

Because this guy's stolen my look!

AMY

But that's you.

THE DOCTOR

No, that's Matt Smith. And look at this...

_He pulls out a TV listings guide. He flips through it to Saturday. He points at a slot. It reads 'Doctor Who'._

THE DOCTOR (con't)

This is some Parallel Universe. Episodes from my life are being played out weekly at 6:20. And 6:25 sometimes. 6:40 on occasions. And even 6:05 once. And I'm being portrayed by some great, heroic actor of the period.

AMY

What about me?

THE DOCTOR

Oh yes. You're there.

_The Doctor pulls out another newspaper. He reaches the section he was looking for and shows the paper to here. There is a large photo of Amy in the kissogram outfit she wore when she met the Doctor after the 12 year interlude. The headline reads "New Doctor Who Assistant Too Sexy." _

AMY

Well, being called sexy isn't too-

_The Doctor points at a particular word of the article as Amy speaks. She grabs it in horror and re-reads the word._

AMY (con't)

I am _not_ slutty!

_The TARDIS console beeps. The room suddenly lights up. _

THE DOCTOR

Ah! Right, let's get out of this Godforsaken universe.

_The Doctor pilots the TARDIS. It is still a little shaky. When they land, the Doctor looks at the monitor._

THE DOCTOR (con't)

Oh come _on_. Same universe!

AMY

We're not stuck here are we?

THE DOCTOR

No. Yes. Maybe.

AMY

Don't start that again.

THE DOCTOR

Sorry.

AMY

When are we now?

THE DOCTOR

10th November 2010.

AMY

Well, I'm going to have a look out now.

_Amy leaves. The Doctor gets to work on the console._

INT. TESCO

_Amy is in the DVD section of the Tesco supermarket. She picks up a DVD in disbelief. "Doctor Who: Series 5." There is an image of herself and the Doctor on the front. Making up her mind, she makes her way to the counter. On the way, she notices another DVD; "Doctor Who: Series 2, Volume 4." Picking it up too. She makes her way towards the counter to pay._

INT. TARDIS

_The Doctor reconnects two wires that had become disconnected. _

THE DOCTOR

Aha! Done!

_Amy walks back through the TARDIS door, a Tesco bag in her hand. She removes the two DVD boxes from the bag and shows them to the Doctor._

AMY

What're these?

THE DOCTOR

I'm a DVD!

_Amy points to the Series 2 DVD._

AMY

What about this guy? Same TV programme, different actor.

THE DOCTOR

That's me! Before I regenerated! That's my friend Rose!

AMY

No. They're David Tennant and Billie Piper. Oh, wait. This says they portray The Doctor and Rose Tyler.

THE DOCTOR

This is great. But also kind of bad. How do these so-called writers know how our lives are being played out? Yes, it's very bad. And I don't know how. Anyway, let's go back to our universe.

_The Doctor pulls a lever, setting the TARDIS into flights. When it lands, he grabs the DVDs and runs over to the TARDIS door. He flings them open. They are in orbit around a supernova. _

AMY

What're we doing here?

THE DOCTOR

We're going to destroy these DVDs.

AMY

What? I paid £45 for those! I want to at least watch them.

THE DOCTOR

No way. Look at this episode. "Vincent and the Doctor." Who the hell is Vincent? Can't watch these, we'll find out how our future will play out. Spoilers.

_The Doctor throws the box set out of the TARDIS. It gets caught in the supernova's gravity and soon disappears from sight._

AMY

Fine. Well what about this one? You've already experienced all these adventures.

THE DOCTOR

Nope. I'm going to destroy that too. And I have two very good reasons for doing so.

AMY

And what might they be?

_The Doctor points at episode 10 on the DVD. "Love and Monsters."_

THE DOCTOR

That's reason one.

_He then points at episode 11; "Fear Her."_

THE DOCTOR (con't)

And that's reason two.

_He takes the DVD and throws that into the supernova as well. He closes the door and runs back to the console._

THE DOCTOR (con't)

Let's go!


End file.
